


Convenience, Value, Service.

by butchrem (Harlecat)



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: AU - CVS, Alternate Universe - College/University, Crack, Crack Taken Seriously, M/M, Other, Ryuk is light's roommate bc yeah, and of course it will be gay, there's also some creepy behavior all around... these boys are toxic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harlecat/pseuds/butchrem
Summary: The local CVS has been losing far more stock than it can account for, so corporate calls in the big guns: security expert L. Light Yagami, son of the regional manager, immediately catches his attention. 100% lower stakes with 200% more melodrama. Maybe it's gay?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Convenience, Value, Service.

**Author's Note:**

> if you're reading this and work at cvs and worried i shoplift from there: no i don't. if you are an impressionable teen wondering if i condone thievery legally, i have to say no.
> 
> my intent is for this fic to be even more wild than death note and at some point there WILL be sex but not yet!!! also it's important to me that my readers know i have deliberately shirked my often rigorous editing process for this fic because its stupidity is important to its sincerity. i don't know why i'm writing this. also, if you've never heard of CVS it's basically a smaller retail outlet and pharmacy like Walgreens or Rite-Aid. it's title is always stylized as ❤CVS Pharmacy and the heart does have some nice vibes but inside each one it feels like hell, at least in my experience

Stock had been going missing at the CVS for almost three months. It had started in the summer. At first, it was insignificant, the occasional numbers coming up wrong, and then it spiraled. It wasn’t just food and toiletries, which were easily excused. Face masks, hair spray, even three vibrators had all vanished without any record. Corporate, at first, had not cared. They could make up the missing stock. But now, the first week of October — precisely when L had expected — the theft had spiked and, inevitably, he had been brought in to rebuild their security system and catch the culprit.

Irritatingly, the theft stopped almost as soon as he was hired. This was good news for the store. The store manager, Schuichi Aizawa, was clearly relieved. L was a little disappointed that it was so easy. He would be kept on for another month, because he found it likely the theft would resume, and then he would move on.

On the day in question, L was at work in the back room, watching the camera footage. It was seven in the evening when the customer came in. He came in rather frequently, and L had always found him incredibly suspicious — he often left without buying anything, but none of the store’s employees found this odd, though L had warned them this was a key trait to watch for in shoplifters. Very occasionally, he came in with a someone L thought was his girlfriend, who always dressed like she was trying not to be spotted. Apparently, this young man was regional manager Soichiro Yagami’s son. Matsuda seemed to be friendly acquaintances, always chatting when he stopped in, but he still rubbed L the wrong way. That night, when he came in, he talked to Matsuda for several minutes. L watched him pick up a chocolate bar and open it, and eat it all before paying. He bit his lip thoughtfully.

“Matsuda,” he said over the intercom, and saw Matsuda jump nearly a foot.

“L! You scared me.”

“Soichiro Yagami’s son,” L said, without giving him any time to recover. “He must be a college student. Do you know where he goes?”

Matsuda spoke to the nearest camera, as though it meant L would see him. “The university, I think. His mother’s a professor there.”

L found it very likely that this shoplifter was a high school or college student. The food items stolen were usually snacks, nothing that could be prepared, so it would follow that the thief did not have a fridge, or shared one with people who would find an influx of food suspicious. And, L thought with interest, if his father managed the stores he was stealing from, it  _ would  _ be quite suspicious if stolen goods started appearing in his own fridge. The other vanishing items, makeup, hair products, stationery, it all would be used by a younger person. It wasn’t unheard of for the elderly to take shoplifting sprees, but the demographics of this particular CVS were primarily students from the community college, the neighboring university, and from local high schools.

“What’s his name?” L asked. “You two seem close.”

“Light,” Matsuda answered. “Back before his dad got promoted we used to hang out in the employee staff room! He was thinking of majoring in anthro too, that was before he graduated high school—”

Matsuda launched into a story about a college party he had snuck Light into few years ago, and L tuned him out as he started to ramble about the girl who’d hosted it. L rewound the tapes to see Light walk out again. L had always had an obsessive brain, and it was irritating to see that it had latched onto this somewhat random student. He seemed attractive, but L had never been one to value looks. He chewed his lip thoughtfully and leaned closer to the black and white monitor.

_ Light Yagami, _ he thought, and frowned. Maybe he’d been the shoplifter, or maybe L just needed to get something out of his system. Either way, he would be paying a visit to the university.

Light had more condoms than he knew what to do with. He was sitting at his dorm desk, which was impressively shitty, and comparing three different boxes. He’d lifted them from CVS the night before, because the sexual health section was the only place he’d found a blind spot in so far, and because he was bored. On top of these new boxes, he still had a few from his last big haul, plus the selection of free condoms that the RA was always unloading onto them to promote safe sex. If Matsuda were still his RA Light could have just dropped the boxes on him and lied about having purchased them, and his roommates would have scarfed them up, but Light had no idea how he was supposed to approach his current RA and offer up a bunch of nicer condoms. He’d look like a proper dick. No, the problem was, Light simply wasn’t going through condoms quickly enough, and Misa was frequently hinting that she would like to change this, but he just didn’t care to. Maybe he could ditch them in the student center bathroom.

He shoved the boxes of condoms into his bag, making sure they were in the bottom, because the last thing he wanted was a professor to glance down and see condoms spilling out from between his notebooks. His bag was always packed for class, so Light slung it over his shoulder and headed out.

As Light walked across the campus, his phone buzzed, and he pulled it out. It was a text from a number he didn’t recognize. It read:  _ Hope you don’t mind that I got your number. I’ve seen you around and would like to get to know you better. _

Light was used to messages like this. Unfortunately, he had been cursed with a gorgeous and symmetrical face, and he was frequently getting approached by girls whose names he usually couldn’t remember. However, this had made him incredibly skilled in the art of rejection. Light fired back his response, going into autopilot:  _ Hi! I’m so sorry, but who is this? I don’t have your number saved. _

He was ready to pocket his phone when the reply came through, and it piqued his interest:  _ I don’t think you know me. I saw on your social media that you play tennis. Maybe I could introduce myself over a game? _

It was a nice day out, and now that it was October, Light couldn’t be sure how much longer the weather would hold. A tennis game did sound like a nice change of pace, and the stranger’s apparent intent to hold off on making themselves known was somewhat fascinating. Light replied:  _ Sure! I should let you know, I have a girlfriend, but tennis sounds fun. I get out of class at one. _

The reply came back almost instantly.  _ I will meet you by the cafeteria. _ And then, an addition:  _ :) _ .

Light tucked his phone away and headed into class. If nothing else, it should make a good story for later.

Today’s class was one he didn’t share with Misa, which was something of a blessing. She had taken considerable effort to build a schedule that would allow her to cross paths with Light as often as she could and it had already begun to drive him crazy. If she wasn’t in the class she was in the building and ready to surprise him after, but her photography class required her to be in the dark room, so today he was safe. Light was honestly surprised that he was still dating her, but it made a good excuse to avoid other dates, if nothing else, and aside from her unwillingness to leave him alone after class, Misa was Light’s ideal partner. Sure, he wasn’t interested in her, but she left him alone most of the time and only needed a few dinners a month to be satisfied. No girlfriend had ever been so great for his schedule.

Light supposed this mysterious tennis player could be her replacement, though he thought that unlikely. Whoever this girl was, she’d clearly scoped him out on social media, and the fact that she was certain he wouldn’t know her was odd. In fact, the more Light thought about it, the more she sounded like a stalker, but it would be rude to cancel now. It was always possible that she would be even prettier than Misa, and smarter, and that Light would fall madly in love. Just because he’d never met a girl who could hold his interest didn’t make it impossible. Or she could be great at tennis, and he might have a nice time.

When class let out, he got another text from her, reading  _ It’ll be easy to recognize me, I’ll wave at you _ , so Light headed over to the cafeteria, his interest rekindled.

The cafeteria was usually pretty crowded at this time of day, and the line outside stretched up the stairs. Light eyed it as he walked down, glad that he’d eaten before class, when he spotted the man,  _ not _ a girl, waving at him, and his interest increased exponentially. Light had never seen anyone so weird in his life, and he was a college student. Just the night before, he’d seen someone riding a scooter down the street in a yamaka, and yet, this guy managed to put yamaka-scooter-man to shame. It didn’t look like he had ever washed or brushed his hair, and the white shirt he wore was almost the same color as his skin. What’s more, he didn’t have shoes on.

Light stuck a smile on his face, hoped he wouldn’t get murdered, and walked over. He held up his phone as he approached. “Hey, are you…?”

The man stuck out his hand, and Light shook it. He had a tall drink in his other hand, some kind of frozen coffee covered in whipped cream, which was probably why he felt so cold.

“You’re totally right,” Light said, in the friendliest way he could. “I have no clue who you are. Do we have a class?”

“Oh, I’m not a student here.” He took a sip through his straw. “I work at CVS with Matsuda.”

“Yeah? I’ve never seen you.”

He smiled. “Probably because I monitor the tapes.”

Light’s own smile did not waver as he remembered, with frustration, that he was currently toting around condoms stolen from CVS. Of course  _ now _ was when he met a CVS security worker. Then, a thought occurred to Light. Maybe there was a reason they were meeting now. Maybe this guy was here to confront him. It would be weird, but weirder things had happened. Light shifted his weight.

“You should tell me about work while we head to the tennis courts. What’s your name, by the way?”

The man bit down onto his straw, flattening it. “It’s L.”

It was almost imperceptible, but Light had twitched when L said he monitored footage. L had introduced himself with the intention of losing interest in him but now, with the realization that this charming young man could be the thief, his interest had doubled, no, tripled. Something about him felt too perfect. Maybe he was bored with his perfect life, or acting out against his father.

L decided to push the issue. “Your father’s regional manager, right?”

“Yeah.”  _ What’s this guy’s deal? _ Light wondered. At this point, he was certain that L was here to confront him about the shoplifting, since he almost exclusively talked about CVS, objectively the least interesting thing to talk about. Light had tried to distract him on the walk over with a reliable anecdote about his mother that got most students to laugh, but L hadn’t even noticed.

Now, as they walked out onto the court, L — what kind of a name was L, anyway? — casually brought up the topic of shoplifting. “I guess he’s told you all about the theft, then?”

“Sort of. Why? Has it gotten worse?”

L decided to push it further. “Yes,” he lied. “Installing cameras hasn’t helped.”

_ What the hell? That’s not true. _ Light moved to position on the court. Matsuda had told him last night that things were on the upswing. Plus, Light was the only person in the area possessed with the right skills to pull off the large-scale lifting affecting the CVS, and he knew it. Maybe Misa, but she had also slowed down with the security upgrade. Light ground his teeth. Why would L lie?  _ To see how I react _ , he realized. L served the ball and Light batted it back. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

_ He didn’t take the bait. _ L hit the ball back. “Yes, well, we’ll simply have to keep upping our security measures. It’s more irritating than anything else.”

“How did you even end up working monitors at CVS?” Light shifted the topic smoothly.

“I do it for fun.” To L, small-time security often felt akin to a puzzle. It was hardly something he did for money. Most of L’s money came from larger-scale web security and cryptocurrency, but in a job that required some finer detailing, he’d discovered how enjoyable the work could be. He could see that Light struggled to make sense of that statement, frowning subtly, and L realized that Light was probably incredibly proud. He couldn’t imagine working such a low-level job, let alone for personal enjoyment. L narrowed his eyes. It would make sense, then, for Light to be the shoplifter. Someone who looked down on store employees wouldn’t think twice of pushing the limits of theft, and this shoplifter was clearly stealing out of boredom and self-interest, not need.

Light, like L, was so focused on the game that it took him a few moments to realize a crowd had gathered.

_ It must be him _ , L thought as Light missed a return and scowled, clearly furious. His pride had been damaged.

“Fifteen love!” someone in the crowd shouted, and Light grimaced. 

_ Then again, _ L prepared to serve.  _ While this shoplifter is proud, and will hate to lose, most people prefer to win, so Light can relax. _

_ He knows it’s me, _ Light thought, and watched L hit the tennis ball back over the net. He jumped to hit it.  _ He must. Why else would he have just shown up here? But he hasn’t said anything, so he can’t be certain. He must not have proof. Will he think it’s me if I go for the win, or am I overthinking? If I throw the match, he’ll think I’m trying to dodge suspicion, and he already knows how good I am. _ Light furrowed his brow and leapt to reach the ball and let his frustration out in the swing of his racket. The ball soared back across the net.  _ But surely he can’t be planning to figure out if I’m guilty based on a tennis match. _ He shot a glare at the strange man. His stooped form swang back and forth as he caught shot after shot, batting each back with ease, but looking rather like a poorly-constructed marionette. There was no way Light could let this guy win, especially not when this crowd watching.

The game went on and, when Light was determined, he would not let anything stand in his way. He returned each of L’s strikes with vim and vigor, letting the ball’s momentum build. He took the next three sets and, on the final serve, let all his aggression out.

_ I can see him thinking, _ L realized as Light struck. The wheels in his head were clearly turning, taking in each move he made and reconstructing it to understand his motives.  _ Of course, this match won’t actually bring us closer. We’ve hardly spoken and it’s completely impersonal — but now we’ve established a precedent. It seems he believes I’m suspicious of him, so he’ll know that I’m laying groundwork to get closer to him. _

Light barely managed to catch L’s hit. He had completely tuned out from the world around them. It was as though there were only himself, L, and the tennis ball between them, slamming violently back and forth in time with his thoughts.  _ If he doesn’t know it’s me yet, than this is an elaborate gesture. He’ll do something else next. Maybe he’ll ask me about CVS or discuss his work with me, to trick me into saying something he can use as proof against me. _

_ Of course, _ L thought,  _ I’ll need to see him in location to properly gauge his reactions. Anyone can chat leisurely about security — it will be harder for him to hide his guilt in a store. So we’ll have to head to CVS. _

_ He’ll want to catch me in the act, if possible _ .  _ Otherwise his job won’t actually be done. So we’re going to have to go to CVS.  _ Light tightened his grip on his racket. Surely that was his plan. But in all things, one couldn’t win with just defense, and Light was determined to avoid being caught. So he would have to attack. He struck as he resolved to do so.  _ He  _ would get L to go to CVS with  _ him, _ and ensure that he left completely sure of Light’s innocence.

L dove for the ball but missed it, landing heavily, and someone in the crowd gasped. Light heard some confused muttering and explanations of tennis rules from the gathered crowd, and went to help L up. He would have to make himself seem friendly. L took his hand and Light was struck by how thin his fingers were. They cold and might have belonged to a corpse if not for the pulse drumming against Light’s palm.

L coughed politely. Light started and dropped his hand, and cracked his knuckles to do something with his fingers.  _ What the hell was that _ ? He struggled to push the embarrassment creeping up his neck down, barely containing his flush. Whenever Misa wanted to hold hands, he could think of nothing but getting out of her grip, and now he forgets to let go of some stranger who works at CVS? Well, never mind that.

“Hey,” Light said brightly. “I have to pick some groceries up. I don’t suppose you have an employee discount you’d want to give me?”

L ran his tongue over his teeth, looking somewhat bored, which annoyed Light to no end. “Is Matsuda’s not enough?”

_ Damn! I forgot, he knows Matsuda! _

“I was going to go to the CVS across town, since it’s… bigger,” Light lied. “And there’s a Panera bread in the same mall.”

L perked up at that. “I do like their cinnamon rolls, and my driver is close by.”

“Great, we can take your car.” That was a relief, since the only car Light had access to at the moment was his roommates, and it was currently a mess. Not to mention, filled with stolen cereal.

L took out his phone to call his car, and Light checked his texts as well. He already had a deluge of messages from Misa asking if he could hang out now that his class was out. Light replied quickly to tell her he was going to Panera with a friend and would see her later, and in a few moments, a sleek black car had pulled up outside of the tennis courts. Light followed L to the nice car, utterly baffled.

_ Seriously, what’s this guy’s deal? _

Without pausing, L pulled a bag of candy from the back seat pocket. “Watari, Panera please.” He took out a bar and offered it to Light.

After a moment of consideration, Light took it.  _ I’m going to play his game for now. To win him over, I’ll have to bide my time. _ Light narrowed his eyes in determination.  _ I’ll show this security guard. I’m more than his everyday shoplifter. My dad is the  _ regional  _ manager. When it comes to CVS, I know every in and out. I’m practically a god. _ Light unwrapped the bar and bit down. It was far too sweet, but he didn’t care. He could take any challenge L threw his way.  _ And gods don’t lose. _

**Author's Note:**

> yes naomi misora has valuable information that could reveal light is the shoplifter. no i don't know what it is. i haven't thought that far yet.
> 
> tumblr is @butchrem


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